The Truth About Black Women Dating White Men

Are Ebony and Ivory Together in Perfect Harmony?

white man and black woman togetherBlack woman dating white men is still a societal taboo that incites controversy. For years, black women have seen black men with white women and felt slighted. Eventually, we stopped caring and dived into the swirl ourselves.

It was not a conscious decision, but an unconscious necessity. It was not revenge or a conquest or sour apples. We simply wanted a man that would treat us the way we wanted and deserved to be treated and color became unimportant.

Good and bad men exist in all races, but some black women can’t seem to find a black man. I have black women friends who are with a good black man and black women friends that are with a good white man and they’re happy. Happiness knows no color nor does love.

I also have black girlfriends who said they would die before they would enter into a relationship with a white man. One even referred to it as “sleeping with the slave master”. Personally, after a slew of bad relationships with black men, I simply opened my eyes and simply sought a “good man”. I didn’t care if he was alien-green.

I admit that I’ve made some bad decisions and selected the wrong black men and I accept full blame for my own bad decisions. I do not condemn black men as a whole. I have three adult sons who are good black men and a nephew who is the best father and husband imaginable. My father was a good man.

Fully aware of what I bring to the table as a woman, I didn’t think that I was asking too much out of life or being unreasonable in my expectations. I only wanted a man who enjoyed life, was intellectually, economically and educationally compatible, loving, kind, romantic, faithful and strong.

black and white relationshipThere are black men out there that meet my criteria and I have met many, but they were either already involved, uninterested in, offered only friendship or we just didn’t click.

Experience has taught me well. I’ve learned what makes a relationship fail or thrive. I know what it takes to make me happy (and I deserve to be happy). I also know what it takes to make a man happy and content. I decided that rather than settle, I’d stay alone or wait for Mr. Right to arrive.

I didn’t plan for Mr. Right to be Mr. White. Alternately, he wasn’t specifically seeking a black woman, but a good woman. It had nothing to with “jungle fever” (I hate that term), rumors of the black woman’s alleged sexual power, curiosity or fascination. It just happened.

Do people look at us funny sometimes when we’re out? Heck yeah, but who cares. We’re happy and not because we’re polar opposites, but because he found a good woman and I found a good man and that is all we were both seeking.